Do some men really want a woman who reminds them of their mother?
You know the type: “Mama’s boys” – the spoiled, pampered men who cannot seem to break away from their mothers. Don’t get me wrong, mothers are great – mine sure is – but there comes a point in your life when you have to grow up.
Yet some Japanese men seem destined to be “Mama’s boys” for life. And why would they ever want to change? After all, for these men, their mothers have cooked their food, done their laundry, cleaned their rooms, and basically done everything for them their whole life. Who would want to give that up? So instead of growing up and learning to take care of themselves without Mom, they simply look for a woman who will do the same kinds of things for them.
A friend of mine who was in a relationship with one of these mama’s boys saw the relationship end because her man’s mom did not think she (my friend) would make a proper wife, and since his mom did not approve, that was the end of the relationship. How crazy is that?
Think of all the good women out there who are passed over because the man’s mom does not approve of her for some reason. Sometimes the man will never get married because his mom does not want to let them go, or because she thinks that no woman will ever be good enough for her precious son. So the man spends his life alone and in misery while his mom stays happy (and in control of his life). Men should always honor their mothers, but you shouldn’t sacrifice your entire life just to make your mother happy.
After all, what kind of mother would want her son to give up his entire life and turn his back on romance, just because a woman does not meet up with her requirements? This is a selfish way for a mother to behave – if mothers really love their sons, they will raise them to be strong, independent, and able to build a life with a good woman. Instead of trying to rule and control her son’s romantic life, a mother should teach her son how to treat a woman properly so that he can go on to lead a productive and happy life.
Yet some mothers have programmed their sons to the point that these poor men spend their entire life looking for a woman just like dear old Mom.
Here is a news flash, mama’s boys: there is no other woman on Earth who is going to be just like your mother. If you want to have a real relationship with a woman – especially an independent, emotionally healthy woman – you need to let go of your maternal ties and find a way to stand on your own.
Don’t you think it is kind of weird to want a woman like your mother anyway? I mean, imagine having sex with your mother! Not a pleasant thought. So why do you keep looking for a woman like your mother? Do you not want a woman who is her own person? After all, any good woman is going to run as far away from you as she can get if you keep comparing her to your mother.
Being a mama’s boy might seem cute to a woman at first, but before long, any good woman is going to want a real man. Of course you want your mother and your wife to get along, but when you get married you need to always take the side of your wife, even to the point of defending her against your mother, if necessary. If you are not ready to let go of your mother and be a real man, then you probably are not ready for dating a real woman either.
Some men who marry Japanese women – whether they’re “Mama’s boys” or not – might find that their mothers have concerns about whether the Japanese woman is going to “fit in” culturally with the rest of the family. For example, Japanese women might marry Indian men, Muslim men, African-American men, Jewish men – and sometimes parents from all of these cultures have their particular concerns about intermarriage. I’ve had some male Jewish friends who have married Japanese women, and it’s always interesting to me how often they’ve been able to persuade their Japanese brides to convert to Judaism – even though Japanese women are somewhat non-religious. (I think the men’s mothers might have something to do with influencing these Japanese women’s decisions.)
Bottom line: no matter what culture you’re from or how intense of a “Mama’s boy” you are, when it comes time for you to find a woman (or many women!) to spend your life with, you need to do what is right for you. Ultimately, your mother will be happy for you.
Have you known any “Mama’s boys” among your circle of male friends?
Why do you think Japanese culture develops so many “Mama’s boys?”