Ending a conversation can feel awkward, especially if the other person has been perfectly nice but simply isn't a match for your lifestyle or religious goals. The key is to be firm, polite, and brief. Since the goal on these sites is marriage (Nikah), "ghosting" is generally discouraged in Islamic etiquette (Adab). A clear closing statement provides closure for both parties.
1. The "Different Values" Approach
Use this when you realize your views on Deen, lifestyle, or future goals (like living arrangements or career) don't align.
"Thank you for being so open about your perspective on [Topic]. After reflecting on our conversation, I’ve realized our values and future goals don't quite align in the way I’m looking for in a spouse. I don’t want to take up any more of your time, so I think it’s best we stop here. I wish you the very best in your search!"
2. The "Timeline/Seriousness" Approach
Use this if they are being vague about marriage, refusing to involve family, or seem to be looking for something casual.
"I appreciate our chat, but I’ve realized we’re at different stages regarding our timelines for marriage and family involvement. I’m looking for someone ready to take those steps sooner rather than later. I don't think we're a match in that regard, but I wish you find exactly what you're looking for. Khayr Insha’Allah."
3. The "No Spark/Connection" Approach
Use this when they haven't done anything "wrong," but you just don't feel the compatibility after a few chats or a video call.
"It was nice getting to know a bit about you. However, I don’t feel the level of connection or compatibility I’m looking for in a potential partner. Out of respect for your time and mine, I’d like to part ways here. May Allah grant you success in your search."
4. The "Safety/Red Flag" Exit
If someone makes you uncomfortable or pushes boundaries, you do not owe them a long explanation. A "short and out" approach is best.
"I’ve realized our communication styles and boundaries are very different, and I don’t feel comfortable moving forward. I’m going to unmatch now. Best of luck to you."
Key Tips for the "Exit"
Don't leave the door cracked: Avoid phrases like "Maybe in the future" or "Let's just be friends" unless you truly mean it (which is often complicated on dating apps).
Unmatch quickly: Once you’ve sent the message and they’ve had a moment to see it (or immediately if they were disrespectful), unmatch or block. This prevents "negotiation" or guilt-tripping.
Keep it Halal: Ending things clearly is an act of kindness. It allows the other person to redirect their energy toward someone who is a match.