1. Stop Doing Everything for Them
In many homes:
Mummy washes.
Mummy cooks.
Mummy packs bag.
Mummy reminds about homework.
Mummy f!ghts teachers.
Mummy solves every problem.
And the child?
Just exists.
If your 14-year-old cannot:
– Wash their clothes
– Cook simple meals
– Iron their uniform
– Organize their schedule
Then something is wrong.
Example:
Ada goes to university and doesn’t know how to boil rice.
Not because she is dull.
But because nobody allowed her learn.
Teach life skills early.
Independence starts at home.
2. Teach Decision Making Early.
Some parents control everything:
“What will you wear?”
“What will you study?”
“Who will you befriend?”
“What course will you choose?”
Then at 20, the child cannot decide anything without calling home.
Allow small decisions early:
✔ Let them choose outfits sometimes
✔ Let them manage small money
✔ Let them solve minor conflicts
✔ Let them take responsibility for mistakes
Mistakes are training ground for maturity.
3. Teach Financial Responsibility .
Many young adults struggle because:
They never handled money before.
Teach them:
– How to save
– How to budget
– The value of hard work
– That money doesn’t grow on trees
Give them small responsibilities.
Even if it’s:
“Here is your transport money for the week, manage it.”
Financial wisdom builds survival skills.
4. Build Emotional Strength.
Some children collapse at the smallest disappointment because:
They were never allowed to face discomfort.
Parents shield them from everything.
But life will not shield them.
Teach them:
✔ How to handle rejection
✔ How to handle failure
✔ How to apologize
✔ How to bounce back
When your child fails an exam, don’t rescue immediately.
Guide them through recovery.
Resilience is survival skill.
5. Stop Making Them Afraid of You.
If your child fears you, they may obey you.
But they won’t develop confidence.
Children who survive without parents are children who:
– Think independently
– Speak up
– Ask questions
– Solve problems
Fear produces dependency.
Confidence produces independence.
6. Teach Practical Skills.
By teenage years, your child should know:
– Basic cooking
– Laundry
– Cleaning
– How to talk respectfully
– How to ask for help
– Basic safety awareness
Don’t say:
“They will learn when they marry.”
That mentality has destroyed many.
Marriage is not training school.
Home is.
7. Teach Faith and Values
If you are faith based, teach them:
– Personal prayer
– Moral boundaries
– Integrity
– Self control
Not just church attendance.
A child who knows their values can stand firm when you are not there.
Parents Listen.
Your children will leave for university.
They will travel abroad.
They will marry.
They will face decisions without you beside them.
And that is when your parenting will speak.
Not your shouting.
Not your control.
But the training you gave them.
Don’t raise children who need you forever.
Raise children who are strong because of you.
Your goal is not to make them dependent.
Your goal is to make yourself gradually unnecessary.
That is real success in parenting.
Because the greatest gift you can give your child is not money.
It is the ability to stand alone and still stand well.
